Have any of you read the Divergent series and wondered what faction you would be in? (Abnegation, Amity, Candor, Dauntless, or Erudite) I always thought I’d be in Erudite because I believe knowledge = power, and I also have a disgustingly huge collection of books (we’re talking 500+). Quick backstory: I had a hard time socializing growing up, so I read books instead. The end. Plus, there’s also the fact that I want to know about EVERYTHING and wish I could be a college student as my career. Hence, Erudite for me.
However, reading the triology, I was fascinated by the Candor faction. Everyone said what they were thinking – the honest, raw truth – regardless of any sort of emotional impact. And while that can obviously be a disaster for many reasons, how much of a relief would it be to just be honest all the time? Now, before I talk about this any further, I want to distinguish the type of honesty I mean. I notice that oftentimes people will say something really mean/harsh under the guise of “honesty”, but the intention is to hurt the other person. I’ve definitely done that before, and I’m not proud of it. However, it is possible to be honest with someone and say things that are hard to hear, but in a respectful and genuine way. It’s definitely a fine line, but the distinction is there.
I was thinking about honesty when I read this post from a blog I’ve been following, A House in the Hills. The author, Sarah, is one of the most open bloggers I’ve read, and she doesn’t hold back from sharing her life with her readers. In a recent post, she shared a question she had received from a reader, asking her how she funds her lifestyle. A very personal question, to be sure. But still a valid one. Even as a blogger myself, I wonder how others in this field “fund” their work – whether it be designer clothes, expensive ingredients, what have you. But the question Sarah received was not just about money. She was also asked, in essence, “How are you so put-together? How do you make it all work?” Sarah gave a very genuine answer, but the question itself is what I want to address in this post.
Reading Sarah’s blog post made me question how I might seem to other people. If you only knew me from my blog, or from what I’ve posted on my personal Instagram, or from what I’ve posted on Facebook, I would venture to say that it would look like I had my sh!t together. And I feel very strongly that I should tell you today that it is not the case.
I supposed I have it “all together” in some ways – I have a job, I have a car, good family and friends, and I don’t really “want” for anything. However, I have doubt. I have uncertainty. I have a pile of dishes in the sink and a credit card payment that needs to be made. I have insecurity. I have fear for the future, uncertain of what’s to come. I have a stressful job in finance. And, above all, I have been sick for many months, dealing with an ambiguous digestive illness that has caused me a great deal of pain and isolation, triggering psychological repercussions that have affected every aspect of my life. So no, I don’t think I really have it together.
I’ve said that part of the inspiration for the creation of this blog was to aid in my journey back to health. But behind every colorful photo and cheerful comment, there has been a sleepless night curled up on the couch, doubled over in pain from my stomach… a missed happy hour with friends, afraid that I would get sick in front of them all… tearful nights, wondering why my medicine wasn’t working… and countless days of work missed, terrified that I would have gastrointestinal distress in front of my coworkers. I’m not writing all of this to elicit pity – that’s the last thing I want. But what I do want to convey is that appearances are deceiving. If I’ve ever come off as “having it all together”, I want to apologize for that, sincerely. My photos may be neat but my life is most certainly messy. AND THAT IS OKAY. To every single person in the world doubting themselves, including myself, I say to you:
Nobody has it all together.
- 2 Medium Zucchini, sliced into thin rounds
- Drizzle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil for baking
- Sprinkle of Salt + Pepper
- ⅓ Cup Cashews, soaked
- 1 Adobo Chile (in sauce)
- ½ Tbsp Dijon Mustard
- 2 Tbsp Almond Milk
- 2 Tbsp Water
- 3 Tsp Apple Cider Vinegar
- ½ Tsp Salt
- Pinch Turmeric (optional)
- 1 Head Purple Cabbage
- Raw Hemp Seeds for garnish
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
- Wash and dry zucchini. Using a mandoline (or by hand), slice zucchini into thin rounds, about ½ inch thick.
- Lay zucchini rounds on a baking sheet and drizzle evenly with extra virgin olive oil. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and pepper.
- Bake in oven for about 30 minutes, or until brown. Be sure to check often so you don't burn your zucchini!
- Prep the cashews by soaking for at least two hours or overnight.
- Combine all aioli ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.
- To assemble the tacos, separate the leaves from the purple cabbage. It helps if you cut off the bottom where the leaves all come together!
- Line cabbage leaves with a handful of arugula, and add zucchini on top.
- Drizzle with the chipotle aioli, and top with crunchy hemp seeds.
I leave you all with a quote:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Song of the Day:
Worrywart – Radiohead