Today I was really thinking about the name of my site – Well and Full – and the implication it has for me in my life. I thought of the name while I was considering the things that are most important to me; the things that I’m striving for every day.
I talk about this sparingly in this space – I don’t mean to burden anyone with my problems – but my journey to wellness has not been smooth. As a child I suffered from severe digestive issues and was hospitalized for it many times. And although I have gotten every test imaginable, I have not received any sort of concrete diagnosis except for IBS.
My health issues manifest themselves twofold – I will become intensely nauseous, or experience stomach pains, which will in turn trigger an anxiety about being around people while these things are happening. And it’s turned into this general anxiety of going out / being around other people in general, fearing that I will become sick in front of them, or have to experience these issues in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable environment. In this way, working in an office environment has become almost unbearable for me. But honestly, to sum it up – I really just feel nauseous all the time. It never goes away, and it’s made me feel like I can’t keep going. I don’t feel like I’m really living anymore.
But like I said in my last post, I’m starting to make some big changes in my life. While my stomach has always been very sensitive, my health issues are mostly triggered by stress and anxiety… which I have in abundance in my current situation. Frankly, it’s unsustainable. I can’t keep living in illness; living in fear. There has to be a change, and it’s on me to make it.
But I would be remiss if I didn’t take this chance to thank all of the people in my life who haven’t given up on me (because some have). Thank you for texting me and asking if I want to see a movie even though I’ll be to scared to go out. Thank you for coming to my apartment, where I feel safe, and hanging out with me there so I can feel okay. Thank you for understanding that I won’t be coming to happy hour, or to dinner, or to that party. Thank you for understanding when I cancel at the last minute because I feel like I’m going to throw up. All of those people who have been there for me – thank you. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.
- 4 yellow potatoes, peeled
- The white part from Two Leeks
- 1 Fennel Bulb, chopped (about ½ cup)
- 1 Vidalia Onion, chopped
- 8-9 cloves garlic, halved
- 4-5 Tbs Extra Virgin Olive Oil for Sauté
- 2 Cups Vegetable Stock
- 1 Bottle of your favorite IPA
- ¼ Tsp Black Pepper
- ½ Tsp Salt
- ½ Tsp Smoked Paprika
- Pinch of Cayenne
- Chives for Topping
- 1 Cup Black Lentils
- Water for Cooking
- Cook 1 cup black lentils according to manufacturer's instructions. When finished, rinse and set aside.
- Bring a large pot of water to boil. Peel the potatoes and cut in half, then add to the boiling water. Boil for about 15-20 minutes, or until you can stick a knife through the potatoes easily. Drain and set aside.
- Bring a sauté pan to medium heat. Add leeks, fennel, onion, and garlic, with olive oil, and sauté until vegetables are lightly browned.
- In a large blender, combine potatoes, sautéed vegetables, vegetable stock, IPA, smoked paprika, and salt + pepper. Blend until smooth and creamy. Taste and adjust seasonings as needed.
- If desired, reheat soup in the large pot until ready to serve.
- When ready to eat, serve soup with a drizzle of olive oil, a generous heaping of lentils, and chives. Best enjoyed in front of the fireplace while a football game is playing.
Song of the Day:
All the Stars – Wailin’ Jennys