bowls/ recipes

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and Full

Hi everyone!! I’m back!!

Well, it’s only been two weeks, but I felt like that was enough time to warrant saying “I’m back”. Two weeks is the most time I’ve ever spent away from W+F, since I launched in May 2015!

The past two weeks, I stepped away to focus on my health and to do a little soul-searching. Before that, I kept trying to get better, physically and mentally, while still pushing myself to the limits here, and in my yoga practice, and in my personal life. But the thing is, I’m such a “push it to the limit” type of person that I didn’t even realize that that’s what I was doing. It’s how I’ve lived my whole life. But sometimes you need to step back to gain that sort of perspective.

I’ve kind of had a revelation about myself. Growing up, my parents were very, um, persistent in my education, both within school and without. There was always a very real and almost tangible pressure to succeed, constantly looming over my head. My parents didn’t exert this pressure out of any sort of perverse motives… they just wanted me to have the best life possible. So I did it all, and made certain I was the best at everything, to live up to my parents expectations. I was on the spelling team, in the Honors Society, the lead singer in the jazz band, the only freshman in my high school to make it to All States, etc. I worked very hard to achieve these accolades. But as I excelled at various things, it came to be the basis upon which I would have expectations for myself. And if I didn’t excel at something, it was always The Worst Possible Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever.

But everyone has baggage from their childhood, right? We grow up and get on with our lives, right? I certainly thought  had. But looking back on it all, I see that nearly every choice and juncture in my life has been punctuated by my constant need to be the best. For example, in college, I didn’t join an a cappella group, even though that was something I excelled at in high school. But at my high school, I was the president of the Music Honors Society, president of the chamber choir, the leader of the honors choir, and a vocal coach to younger students. I was the veritable Queen Bee of the music department; the very best there was. And I knew that anything I did in college would just be a step down from that. So I didn’t do anything music-related in college, at all. I wasted four years that I could have spent taking part in something I truly love, all because of my damnable pride.

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and FullBlack Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and FullBlack Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and FullBlack Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and Full

This is all very embarrassing to admit, mind you. But writing about it is rather cathartic for me. And it helps me see the motivations behind my actions today. (Such as this blog…) When I first started W+F, I had a game plan – I’d win the “Best New Voice” award in the 2016 Saveur Blog Awards, get a hundred thousand pageviews within 6 months, get regularly sponsored posts within 6-7 months, and get a cookbook deal within 2 years. And seeing these goals written on my computer screen right now is causing some serious facepalm action. Yes, goals are great, but there is a line between goals that are “attainable” and those that are “ridiculously aggressive”. Unsurprisingly, I fall into the ridiculously aggressive category.

But the worst part isn’t that I set myself up for failure with my overly ambitious goals…. it’s the mental beating I give myself when I don’t achieve them. To be blunt – I’m really f&%king mean to myself. Let’s put it this way, I would NEVER speak to ANYONE the way I speak to myself. Not even my worst enemy. I put myself down constantly. I criticize every last detail in my life, to my photographs to my weight to my yoga abilities to my friendship statuses to the cleanliness of my apartment. But the really messed up part is that I don’t even notice I’m doing it, because this is my life. This is how I’ve always been. If I want to change, it won’t be like breaking a habit – I will have to break my reality. Frankly, I don’t even know what it’s like to just be okay. Run of the mill. Even just normal! I’ve been in such a frantic quest for greatness in my life that I don’t even know what it’s like to just LIVE.

And right now, I don’t have the answer to any of this. But recognizing the problem is a huge step forward. As is my awareness of how I treat myself.

You know, it’s funny, because a yogic principle I really identify with is that of ahimsa –  non-violence. I’ve always thought of this as non-violence towards animals, towards others, towards the planet; but completely neglected to consider non-violence towards self. Non-violence is more than just compassion or kindness, it is the complete and total absence of violence itself, in all its manifestations. The whole reason I started this blog was to exemplify a life of non-violence against all living things; not realizing that I had overlooked non-violence towards myself. But that ends today.

It’s not going to be easy, and I’m sure it will be a long journey, but I’m going to start being kinder to myself. Allowing myself the chance to rest, to have a break. To live life as a pacifist and not as an aggressor.

But now I turn to you all, my friends and readers – what are some ways that you engage in self-care? How do you show kindness to yourself on a daily basis?

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and FullBlack Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and Full

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and Full
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Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl

This healthy, filling black rice bowl is studded with florets of beautiful romanesco broccoli and fresh mung bean sprouts.
Prep Time 10 minutes
Cook Time 30 minutes
Total Time 40 minutes
Servings 2 -3 Bowls

Ingredients

  • 1 Head Romanesco
  • Drizzle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • 1 1/2 Cups Black Rice soaked 4 hours or overnight
  • 1/3 Cup Mung Bean Sprouts
  • 1 Tbs Sesame Oil
  • 2 Cloves Garlic minced
  • 1 Tsp Fresh Ginger chopped
  • 4 Scallions chopped and divided
  • 2 Tbs Shoyu
  • Drizzle Sriracha optional

Instructions

  1. Cook the black rice according to manufacturer's instructions.
  2. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.
  3. While oven is heating up, break down romanesco into smaller florets. Toss florets with a drizzle of olive oil and a bit of salt and pepper.
  4. On a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, cook romanesco florets in the oven for about 20 minutes, until slightly tender but still crunchy. Set aside.
  5. Bring a large pot or sauté pan to medium-low heat with the sesame oil. Add in the minced garlic, chopped ginger, and half of the chopped scallions, and sauté for about a minute. Then, add the rice, sprouts, shoyu, and the rest of the scallions (and sriracha if you like). Stir for about a minute, letting the flavors meld.
  6. When done, serve in bowls with a few florets of romanesco.

Black Rice + Romanesco Bowl | Well and Full

Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open?

– Rumi

 

 

10 Comments

  • Reply
    Rebecca @ Strength and Sunshine
    December 13, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    I wish I could say I had some tips of my own, but I really don’t. Just find the things you love and do those things with all your heart and soul, no pressure, just what makes you feel light and free!

    • Reply
      Sarah
      December 15, 2015 at 4:47 pm

      I love that vision – being light and free! :)

  • Reply
    genevieve @ gratitude & greens
    December 13, 2015 at 7:47 pm

    Sarah!!!! You have such a beautiful soul, I hope you know that. I grew up the exact same way and ugh, it took me so much therapy to get myself out of this endless self-hatred cycle that I didn’t even realize I was in. I didn’t realize how terrible I was to myself until my boyfriend asked me: Gen, would you ever say the same thing about a friend? Um, no, never. So that’s a rule I have for myself: if I wouldn’t say this about or to a friend, then I probably shouldn’t be saying it about myself. It is really hard- I did a challenge where I didn’t say anything negative about myself for 3 days and it gave me so much perspective. I was an extremely high achiever in high school and when I graduated university, I was on the dean’s list, coordinating/leading many of the societies and clubs I was a part of, I volunteered, and gah, entering the real world was a such a let down for me because there was no set measure of success for me after I graduated. There was nothing to reaffirm my sense of self because… up until then, my sense of self had been rooted in how much I did and how well I did it at school. Everything you have written here is so relatable, I hope you know that you aren’t alone and it does get better! Recognizing the problem is a huge first step and is often the most important one. Much love to you, lady <3

    • Reply
      Sarah
      December 15, 2015 at 4:49 pm

      I love your story, Gen! That’s such a good rule… if you won’t say it to or about a friend, you can’t say it to yourself. I think we’ve experienced similar things with our transition to the “real world” and it’s nice knowing that I’m not going through it alone <3

  • Reply
    danielle is rooting the sun
    December 13, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    sarah – it’s so nice to hear your voice. i wish peace and happiness to you – your soul shines through your beautiful blog & you deserve the kindest vibrations from yourself and the world. beautiful dish – i am all over black rice lately, and romanesco is a true stunner. happy week to you. ♥

    • Reply
      Sarah
      December 15, 2015 at 4:50 pm

      Thank you so much Danielle <3 Sending love and peace to you as well <3 <3

  • Reply
    jacquie
    December 14, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Believe me and another who responded – you are not alone in growing up with demanding parents. It is a hard childhood lesson to overcome in my experience. though i’m not sure that one overcomes it so much as one starts to be able to recognize the voice and the proceeds to intervene. and it is a practice that needs to be ongoing. perhaps a place to start is even with your concept of “run of the mill” . when you use it above you seem to indicate it is less than better – why is that? why is it not great to be “run of the mill” or normal. Please don’t imply that people who are so work less or lead less fulfilling lives than you. that the only way to give yourself some rest is to settle for less. perhaps it that kind of “less” is actually “more” in the long run. and perhaps you didn’t intend it to be so negative as it sounded to me

    remember to breathe and be gentle w/ yourself. May you find some peace.

    • Reply
      Sarah
      December 15, 2015 at 4:58 pm

      Hi Jacquie! thank you so much for leaving a note :) I think you brought up a really good point. I’m belying my own problems via my attitude towards “run of the mill” in this post. I get tripped up on words sometimes, so bear with me, but I’ve noticed that people who have lives that are considered “average” or “normal” are generally more happy. It just goes to show how damaging it is to have an attitude like mine. Their lives are MORE fulfilled than mine, because I’ve been very unhappy the way I am. Which is why I want to change, you know? I think in my quest to find “greatness” and “meaning”, I’ve lost both of those things along the way. :(

  • Reply
    Kathryn @ The Scratch Artist
    December 18, 2015 at 8:30 am

    Hey Sarah!
    Funny that you started this post with “I’m Back” because I headed over to your site this morning to send you an email to make sure you were doing ok. I realized I hadn’t seen anything from you in a while (in internet time) and wanted to make sure you were doing well. I’m glad that you took the time to do some soul searching. It sounds like you had some really productive insights. I think it is great that you are seeing some of this unworkable thinking NOW and not 10-20 years down the road when you have accomplished all of your goals but internally feel empty and unsatisfied. I think with your new found awareness you have the chance to have it all…all the things you aspire to AND internal wellness. xoxo

    • Reply
      Sarah
      December 18, 2015 at 7:47 pm

      Aww thank you Kathryn!!! That was so nice that you were going to send an email, it really warms my heart :) Thank you for your kind words <3

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